There are many ways we measure time. Moments and hours, days, weeks, months and years. I usually find myself using what ever method sounds the shortest when I’m waiting for a happily anticipated event. I now have a calendar with big X’s marking off each day, beginning on Feb.7th of this year. This morning I realized one week has passed since the first X that marks the count down to the day Sunshine girl will be home. You can read her story in an earlier post titled ” A Detour In Her Life”.
There is now fifty-one weeks to go. It is a paradox, this passing of time. In some ways it has been so slow, as if measured by each tick of a clock whose main spring needs to be oiled and in other ways as fast as the image of flipping pages of a calendar often used in old movies to indicate the passing of time.
Sunshine recently pointed out that there is just one of each Holiday and special occasion left until she’ll be home to share them with us all. Tonight I’ll mark off the last Valentines Day before her return. I find this concept to be a very satisfying way to measure her remaining time. Looking ahead on my calendar, I see next Monday is the last Presidents Day, but I don’t want to get to far ahead and spoil the happiness that this way of marking the time brings to my heart.
There is and always will be the bitter sweetness in each of our days because of the deep sorrow of the loss Sunshine’s friend. Somethings can not be measured by any method devised by mankind. There are questions in our minds and hearts we will never find an answer to on this earth and the best we can hope for is the faith to endure, knowing we have God’s love and promises to rely on. The mother of the young man who died that tragic day is one of the most remarkable people I know and she and Sunshine’s mom, against all odds, have become very close friends. So while I await my grand-daughter’s return home with joy, I am ever mindful of his loss and marked the ninth of Feb. off the calendar with tears in my eyes. We all miss you R.J. and strive to honor your memory by being kind and loving to one another.
Sorry dear reader if this post is a bit disjointed. Mixed emotions of the strongest sort and the fullest spectrum play havoc on my limited skills as a writer but I must write what is in my heart at times.